Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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