i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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