Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
so much tequila, so little girl.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
