There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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