Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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