D3 body, D1 cock
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
