he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
