I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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