If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
