dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
