i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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