Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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