my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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