i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
