I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
