What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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