I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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