dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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