I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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