So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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