Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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