ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize