is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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