There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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