Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
