come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
