their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
