i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Be still, my beating vagina.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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