No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
