Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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