i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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