My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
