Capitaan dildo arrescate!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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