i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
No subtext here. People are naked.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well I just put wine in my tea
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
