just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
