Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
