I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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