All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
