Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
