So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
