I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
