Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
