how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
