i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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