Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
