Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
