roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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