..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
