just tell him i said nine months
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
