I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
