You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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