did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
